Q Here we go again, Try It #2! Before you tackle this week's Try It, let's review some of the best practices for writing a summary news lead that you read about. There are many different ways to write a lead (the first sentence) of a news story. But the most basic and direct is the straight or hard news lead – and it always reflects the same requirements. New reporters typically begin their training with this type of news lead. The straight news lead for this class should be: Requirement Parameters 1. short No more than 20 words long. 2. arranged from the most important facts to the least important facts • The most common ordering of those facts is: (1) Who (2) What (3) Where (4) When. • All four of those facts the above-mentioned are required; however, your lead also may need the How? or Why? At the very least, you should begin to explain How? And Why? in the second or "nut" graf of your story. • Note: Where and When are almost never the most significant, so they should not be stated in the first words of your lead. Strive to place the most significant development in the first 5-7 words of your lead. • Also note: You need to know your audience in order to figure out the relevancy and significance of information for them. 3. opinion-free As with the rest of the news story, remove unattributed biases—including adjectives--from your newswriting. 4. in active voice Passive voice is wordier and less direct. 5. in past tense For this class, this type of lede should be about what just happened. 6. free of proper nouns … unless those proper nouns are famous. For example, Nancy Smith is not famous, but superstar Lady Gaga is; thus, Lady G could find herself in a lead, but Nancy Smith would merely be referred to as a "[community-name] woman" (i.e., a Flemington, New Jersey, woman… ) until she was more fully identified later in the story. 7. a single sentence Almost all leads are composed of single sentences. No semi-colons or other methods of joining independent clauses. Just keep it simple. Focus on a single idea. Now, let's go over some basic rules one more time: Rule #1: A hard news lead should be a single paragraph consisting of a single sentence of no more than 20 words, and it should summarize the most newsworthy "what," "where" and "when" of the story. • Example: Fire destroyed a house Monday on Main Street. o The lead is a single-sentence paragraph. Note, please, that a lead should be written in ordinary English, not the clipped phrasing reserved for headlines like "Main Street home destroyed in early morning fire." Headlines, which appear in large print above the stories they introduce, are written that way to conserve space. o It contains 10 words -- far fewer than the word limit. Notice that the word count includes even little words like "a" and "on." o It summarizes the main "what" of the story, which is that fire destroyed a house. o It also provides the "where" of the story with the phrase "on Main Street." o Finally, it gives the "when" of the story in the form of a day of the week, as required by the Associated Press rules. Important note: There are some mental gymnastics involved in correctly conveying the "when" of a newspaper story. Suppose, for example, that today is Monday, and the fire happened this morning. You might be tempted to write the lead like this: Fire destroyed a house on Main Street early this morning. That lead would be just fine if your story was going to be published that same day. But most newspapers get printed overnight and distributed the following morning. That means that a reader who picks up the paper Tuesday morning and reads that the fire occurred "this morning" will inaccurately assume that "this morning" means "Tuesday morning." Furthermore, the AP newswire serves readers in different time zones around the globe. To avoid confusion, you have to write the lead -- and, indeed, the entire story -- so that it will be accurate when read during the reader's time frame. Finally, whenever you can avoid placing proper nouns side-by-side as this, too, can cause confusion. Not this: Fire destroyed a house on Main Street Monday. Not this either: Fire destroyed a house on Main Street on Monday. The AP considers use of the word "on" with a day of the week to be unnecessarily wordy. Instead, move the time element as closer to its associated verb: This: Fire destroyed a house Monday on Main Street. But don't put the time element in the first five-seven words of a 20-word lead. Those first words should be the story's hook (the most important detail). When something happened usually is not the most important element of a news story. Not this: Fire Monday destroyed a house on Main Street. Rule #2: The lead's first verb should express the main "what" of the story and should be placed among the lead's first five-seven words. • Example: Fire destroyed a house Monday on Main Street. o The verb "destroyed" expresses the main "what" of the story. o "Destroyed" is the lead's second word -- a position that puts "destroyed" well in front of "Street," the lead's seventh word. o Again, notice that the word count includes even little words like "a" and "on." o There are no other verbs in front of "destroyed," so "destroyed" is the lead's first verb. o Following this rule will force you to quickly tell readers what the story is about. Rule #3: The lead's first verb -- the same one that expresses the main "what" of the story -- should be active voice, not passive voice. A verb is active voice if the verb's subject did, is doing, or will do something. • Example: Fire destroyed a house Monday on Main Street. o "Destroyed" is the verb. o "Fire" is the verb's subject. o "Fire" did something. It destroyed. Therefore, this is a verb in active voice. A verb is passive voice if the verb's subject had, is having, or will have something done to it. • Example: A house was destroyed by fire Monday on Main Street. o "Was" is the verb. o "House" is the verb's subject. o "House" had something done to it. It "was destroyed." Rule #4: If there's a "who" involved in the story, the lead should give some indication of who the "who" is without using his or her name. • First example: An elderly Murfreesboro man died Monday when an early morning fire raged through his Main Street home. o The "who" is "an elderly Murfreesboro man." o In this case, the "who" isn't someone whose name readers would recognize. o As a result, the "who" angle of the lead focuses on what things about the "who" might make the "who" important to the reader. In this case, it's the fact that the man was older and lived in Murfreesboro. That's called writing a "blind lead." The man's name will be given later in the story. • Second example: Murfreesboro Mayor Joe Smith died Monday when an early morning fire raged through his Main Street home. o Smith is the local mayor, and most local readers probably will recognize his name. o As a result, a local publication might use his name in its lead; an AP story would not. Rule #5: The lead should summarize the "why" and "how" of the story, but only if there's room. • Example: An elderly Murfreesboro man died Monday when fire sparked by faulty wiring raged through his Main Street home. o "... fire ... raged through his Main Street home ..." explains why the man died. o "... sparked by faulty wiring ..." explains how the blaze began. Rule #6: If what's in the lead needs to be attributed, place the attribution at the end of the lead • Example: Faulty wiring most likely sparked a blaze that claimed the life of an elderly Murfreesboro man last week, the city's arson investigator concluded Monday. o Attribution simply is a reference indicating the source of some bit of information. o In this case, the attribution is the phrase, "the city's arson investigator concluded Monday." o Generally, attribute assertions that represent anything other than objective, indisputable information. o Here, there should be no doubt in anyone's mind that the man is dead, that his house was destroyed, that it all happened early Monday, and that the house was on Main Street. But the arson investigator's assertion that faulty wiring caused the blaze represents the investigator's opinion. Therefore, the assertion needs to be attributed to the investigator so readers can decide how credible the assertion is. (Used with permission.) Activity: Okay, now it's your turn! Pick two of the following scenarios and write a summary news lead for each one that follows all the news lead-writing and AP style rules you've learned here so far. Objective: To analyze information and select the appropriate facts for a news story's lead. Use this Checklist for News Lead-Writing Exercises to review and perfect your work. Include the completed worksheet with your Try-It response (pasted in or attached to the post). n.b. You must use the scenarios provided in this Try It. Do not try to complete this exercise using a story you have selected from the news. A few final reminders: • Do not put any names in the lead. • Write a single sentence. • Use 20 or fewer words. • Write in active voice. • Use verbs in past tense. • Use a day of the week for the time element. • If the scenario does not clearly state a day of the week for the time element, assume you are writing a breaking news story Saturday about events that happened that same day. • Assume the news lead will be published in a newspaper the day after its events happened. • Eliminate every single word that's not absolutely essential to the meaning of the sentence. • If the scenario provides the name of a community but not the state in which is it located, use your home state. • Thoroughly study the lectures in your Course Resources, particularly the "Course AP Stylebook," "The Central Point," "The Characteristics of News," "News Lead Basics" and the Step-by-Step: How to Write a News Lead worksheet before you write this Try It. • Remember to perfect your finished work using the Checklist for News Stories, which you should complete and attach to your Try-It response. • If your feedback suggests your grammar needs a touch-up, you can refresh your memory of basic American English grammar rules with this course's optional grammar practice exercise under Activities & Assessments > Quizzes in the course navbar before you submit your revised Try It. • The scenarios contain writing errors. Proofread your work for spelling, grammar and mechanics errors. Use your word-processing software's spelling- and grammar-checking functions for this. Consider also using the free Grammarly software for a final double-check. • Do not respond to this Try It before you have studied and learned the rules for writing news ledes. • Use the feedback you receive to revise your Try It and post the revision as a reply to your original response. Keep an eye out for spelling errors, too! Here are the scenarios to choose from: Scenario 1 Fred Foster, 60, spent 3 decades designing municipal parks for small towns, making enough money to retire early and open an antique shop in Greenwich, Conn. He ran the shop, L'il House of Treasurers, as a charity to help finance a trap and neuter program for stray cats in the city. He's charged will importing products made from endangered animals to sell in his tony shop. The L'il House of Treasures on Main Street was raided on Wednesday by U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service agents, who found $175,000-worth of products made from endangered sea turtles, hippopotamus, West African black rhinos, pangolins, ostriches, and other animals. The products included blades, handbags, and decorative mounts. Foster was taken into custody. Scenario 2 There's been a robbery at Colonial Mall in Flagstaff, Ariz. A man walked into the Starfire Jewelry store about 10 minutes before the mall closed on Saturday, then before anyone stop him, smashed a glass jewelry case with a hammer and scooped out watches, bracelets and engagement rings. A sales clerk sitting behind the counter fixing a watchband started screaming. Her name's Louise Mitchell, 46, of Chilton Lane, according to the police report. The man fled with his booty. Some people in the mall heard the screams, saw the man running, and took up the chase. At least a dozen men and women pursued the man into the parking lot. "Guys like this, they need a job," said Kevon Steffans, one of the shoppers who joined the chase. Once in the parking lot, more people began chasing the man. Former Northwood High School football player Jeffrey Oats, managed to tackle the man as 20 or 30 other people surrounded the two on the ground. Oats, 37, is a security guard for drinks. Police identified the man as Todd Taylor, 18 of Marigold Lane. He was charged with grand theft and is being held on $25,000 bond. Taylor became so frightened that he tossed the bag of loot into the crowd, Officer Jane Tripp said. ### Scenario 3 Two small planes have collided, dropping debris on several homes in Harkensville, Iowa, on Monday. Several people are dead. Three people were in the planes. Julius Smallwood of 4780 Valley Rd., who was piloting the single-engine Piper Cub, is dead. The Piper Cub was towing a banner to promote on Tuesday's air show at the county's airport. Smallwood worked for Aerial Promotions, Inc., in Des Moine. His plane flew into a single-engine Cessna 172 carrying a flight instructor and a student from the Pratt Air Academy headquartered at the Municipal Airport. Police are withholding their names pending notification of next-of-kin because they both died. The Cessna crashed into the roof of Bobby and Abbey Strickland's home at 9201 Holbrook Pl., killing two-year-old Damien in his high chair. His parents were taken to St. Joseph Hospital in Harkensville with undisclosed injuries. The Piper Cub slammed into the backyard of Carey and Carmen Aliotta of 9225 Holbrooke Pl. One of the plane's engines fell through the garage roof at 840 E. Pelham Ave. around the corner, destroying a Toyota Camry parked inside that was owned by Marielle Mason who boards at the home. Laurie Laud, another roommate, called 911 after she saw a body fall onto the next house, 841 E. Pelham Ave. owned by Elton Amanpour. He was not at home. Tracy Poke, who was smoking a cigarette on her porch at 850 E. Pelham Ave., told police she saw the Cessna get caught on the other plane's banner before they fell from the sky. ### Scenario 4 Fit 'n Buff, an independent chain of 6 gyms in your state that is headquartered in Harkensville, is closing. It's owned by Mike Cruz of 435 Price Street. He's a former body builder and personal trainer. Patrons found signs saying "Closed Until Further Notice" on the Packard Street facility's doors on Monday when the gym usually is open at 6 a.m. You as the reporter can't reach Cruz, but his attorney, Raymond Forth of Forth & Davenport on E. Main St., tells you the chain is bankrupt. A total of 180 employees will be out of work at the six facilities he says. Some members paid up to $1,200 for a year's membership. The Packard St. facility was the first gym to open as "Mel's" 15 years ago. Mel was Mike's father and a middle-weight boxer. As it grew in popularity, Mel Cruz changed its name to Fit 'n Buff. Some number of people in the county have $3,999 lifetime memberships that they bought when Mel ran the business, Forth confirmed. The state's Dept. of Consumer Affairs is investigating. Forth said the company was losing $3K a week after an overly aggressive expansion into other counties. ### Scenario 5 There's been a robbery at Security Federal Bank, 80 North Main Street. A lone man wearing a Michael Jackson mask entered the bank just before it was due to close Thursday. The man was brandishing a pistol and demanding money. He jumped behind the counter after telling Jerry and Janice Birdwhistle, two seniors who live at the Robin Hood Assisted Living facility, to lay down on the floor. He pointed the gun at Gladys Higginbottom, the only teller on duty, and demanded she open the cash drawers. He stuffed an undisclosed amount of cash into multiple pockets of his hunting vest. Apparently, he scooped up one of the exploding red dye packets that are used to track stolen money. The packet let loose as he drove away in an older black pickup truck. Detective Myron Nelson said the truck was seen racing down Hwy. 97 with a red cloud of dust wafting out of its windows. The FBI is looking for a white male, maybe 25-30 years old, about 6 feet tall and 180 pounds. He was wearing a blue plaid shirt, blue jeans, and nondescript sneakers with a khaki hunting vest. A man wearing a Michael Jackson mask robbed the Harkensville Savings & Loan on West Main St. last week. "Shouldn't be too hard to find a white guy with skin stained red," Nelson predicted. ### The Try-It exercises and their peer review are mandatory activities in this class. They're designed to give you hands-on experience with each skill we tackle before you complete the week's graded writing assignment or quiz. Deadlines: The deadline to post your initial response to this week's Try It is 11:59 p.m. ET Saturday. The deadline to post your substantive and constructive peer reviews of at least two of your classmates' Try Its is 11:59 p.m. ET Tuesday. Post revisions to your Try It at any time until the end of the academic week. The deadline for you to leave a reply post to your initial response that contains a revision of your exercise is the end of the academic week. The sooner you post, re-post and interact with your classmates, the sooner you'll be ready to complete your next graded assignment! Best practice: Before you submit your initial response to the discussion question, click "subscribe to this thread" beneath the message box. This way, you will receive and be able to respond immediately to notices that someone has commented on your remarks, which can help make these discussions more like conversations. Keep track of those suggestions for improvement in your writing with an error log. You can use it in your editing! (Response required.) - 30 - ©2022 University of Maryland Global Campus